“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert”. Sounds dumb doesn’t it? Im confused with what he is trying to say but at the same time curious,why are they trunkless legs of stone?, and why are they in the desert?…. Is it a statue? Because i have no clue what so ever, even if it was what would it be doing in the desert?….trunkless. Sounds like something a creepy mad man would say.
Last time i heard of something like this it was back home when i was watching a
horror movie with Charlie, my irritating nine year old brother who cant shut his mouth for more than a minute.
June 13, 2014 at 2:28 pm
This is a fair start. I like the addition of remembering the younger brother, this has lots of potential.
I think the reason that you feel off task is because you need to figure out where your character is going and what they want. Why are they telling this story?
What did the man tell them and where are they now?
Lastly, your story does not have to have a first person narrator that talks this way – you might choose to imagine that you are a character that has seen Ozymandias’ rise and fall – like a Greek tragedy.
Good luck – Mr North